Matthew 18:15-20: Reconciliation in the Church Family
Short answer: A Church of the Brethren is a historic peace church that traces its roots to German Pietists who were baptized in the Eder River in 1708, and its members read Matthew 18:15-20 as a practical rule for a gathered, disciplined community. Jesus tells his disciples to go privately to a brother who sins, to take one or two witnesses if needed, and finally to bring the matter before the assembly. The Brethren have historically applied this passage not as a tool for domination, but as a way to restore relationships within a voluntary brotherhood. The passage concludes with the promise that where two or three are gathered in his name, Jesus is present, and that what the gathered church binds or looses on earth is recognized in heaven. The Brethren tradition holds these words together with simple living, believers baptism, the love feast, and nonresistance.
Who the Brethren Are and Why Matthew 18 Matters to Them
The Church of the Brethren began in 1708 in Schwarzenau, Germany, when eight adults seeking a more earnest faith baptized one another in the Eder River. Their first members came out of Lutheran, Reformed, and Pietist backgrounds, and they wanted a church that practiced what it confessed, including mutual correction and reconciliation. Matthew 18:15-20 gave them a practical pattern for settling disputes inside the community rather than dragging one another into civil courts. In Matthew 18:15 Jesus says, "If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother." That single verse contains the whole aim of the Brethren approach: gain the brother back, not win the argument.
Because the early Brethren lived in small, close-knit congregations, private offenses were not abstract. A dispute between two members could divide a household, a farm, or a meetinghouse. Their commitment to Matthew 18 was not merely theological; it was practical survival for a small, persecuted movement. The passage assumes that sin is real, that relationships can be damaged, and that a person genuinely wronged should take the first step rather than wait for the offender to come crawling. The offended party moves toward the offender. That is the order Jesus gives, and the Brethren have historically taken the order seriously.
Brethren never treated this passage as a weapon for the powerful against the weak. It was meant to operate inside a fellowship where members had voluntary commitment to one another and where the goal was always restoration. The Brethren also tied this passage to their witness against violence. If differences are settled by going directly, speaking truthfully, and listening, then there is less room for coercion, retaliation, or the patterns of the surrounding world.
Going Alone First: Why the Brethren Value the Private Step
The first step in Matthew 18:15 is private. Jesus says, "go, show him his fault between you and him alone." The Brethren historically emphasized this because it protects the offender's reputation while still addressing real sin. Gossip and public shaming are treated as spiritual failures, not virtues. The private conversation gives room for the offender to listen, repent, and be restored before anyone else is involved. The phrase "you have gained back your brother" shows that the purpose is recovery, not exposure. In Brethren practice, a member who heard that another member had something against him was expected to go and settle it quickly, not let resentment fester.
This step is hard. It is easier to complain to a friend than to speak directly to the person who sinned. It is easier to withhold the peace greeting than to have an honest conversation. But Jesus commands the direct route. The Brotherly Agreement of 1742, an early Brethren covenant, committed members to love one another, to bear one another's burdens, and to avoid backbiting and slander. That commitment flows out of Matthew 18. The Brethren did not think that unity meant ignoring sin. They thought that love meant addressing sin in a way that could actually heal.
Private confrontation also assumes humility on the part of the one who goes. The goer may be mistaken. The goer may have contributed to the offense. Jesus does not say, go prove you were right. He says, go show the fault and seek to gain your brother. A community that practices this step well becomes a place where people can be honest without being destroyed. That is a rare and precious thing.
One or Two Witnesses and Then the Assembly
Matthew 18:16 continues the process: if the brother does not listen, take one or two witnesses, so that the matter may be established by the testimony of two or three. The witnesses are not spectators brought in to pressure the offender. They are there to confirm facts and to help mediate. The Brethren, like many Anabaptist-related groups, took this step seriously because it kept disputes from becoming private feuds. A third party could hear both sides and help both parties see their own faults. The witnesses also protected the person accused, so that one person's word alone would not determine the outcome.
Only after these steps does the matter go to the assembly. In the Brethren context, that meant the gathered congregation or its elders, acting under the rule of Christ. The assembly was not a tribunal seeking punishment. It was a body seeking reconciliation and, if necessary, the purity of the church. The Brethren used the ban or disfellowship only rarely and with sorrow, because the purpose was always to bring the person back. To treat a stubbornly unrepentant person as an outsider was a last resort, not a first response. Even then, the hope was that the person would eventually repent and be restored.
This third step requires a gathered church with real authority and real humility. The assembly must not act out of anger, personal ambition, or favoritism. It must listen, pray, and seek the good of all involved. The Brethren understood that church discipline without love becomes cruelty, and love without discipline becomes indifference. Matthew 18 holds both together.
Binding and Loosing in the Gathered Church
In Matthew 18:18 Jesus tells the disciples, whatever they bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever they loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. This is not a grant of arbitrary power to church leaders. It is a promise that a gathered community seeking God's will in a matter of sin and restoration can make decisions that reflect heaven's judgment. The Brethren applied this in their annual meetings, where decisions were sought in a spirit of unity and prayer. They did not vote to force a majority view on a reluctant minority. They waited, sometimes for years, for what they called the mind of Christ among them.
This practice is sometimes called the rule of Christ or the rule of Matthew 18. It assumes that Jesus actually leads his church by his Spirit and that his presence is promised when even two or three gather in his name. The Brethren did not believe that a single bishop or a distant council should make all decisions. They believed that the local gathered body, seeking the Lord together, could discern his will. This did not mean that every member's opinion carried equal weight regardless of maturity or Scripture. It meant that decisions were made in a context of prayer, mutual submission, and openness to correction from Scripture.
Binding and loosing also carries a warning. A church that claims to act in Jesus' name while ignoring his teaching can bind on earth things that heaven has not bound. So the Brethren tested their decisions by Scripture, by the fruit of the Spirit, and by the peace of the community. The promise of Jesus' presence is not a guarantee that every decision is correct. It is a promise that he is with those who genuinely seek him.
Where Two or Three Are Gathered: Jesus' Presence and Brethren Worship
Matthew 18:20 says, where two or three are gathered in his name, he is there among them. The Brethren have always valued this promise. Their worship has been simple. They met in homes, then in plain meetinghouses. They sat facing one another rather than facing an altar, because they understood the church as a family gathered around Christ, not an audience watching a performance. They sang from memory or from simple hymnbooks. They shared a meal, the love feast, which included feetwashing, a common meal, and the bread and cup. In all of this, they believed Jesus was actually present with them.
The Brethren also saw a connection between Matthew 18:20 and the peace of the community. If Jesus is present when two or three are gathered, then how we treat one another in that gathering matters. We cannot claim to meet Christ while nursing a grudge against a brother or sister. That is why the Brethren practiced the holy kiss, the peace greeting, and feetwashing. These practices were not empty rituals. They were ways of enacting the reconciliation that Matthew 18 requires. Washing one another's feet, as Jesus did in John 13, was a concrete act of humility and service that made forgiveness tangible.
The Brethren also took the promise of Jesus' presence into their mission work. Wherever two or three Brethren gathered, even in difficult circumstances, they believed Christ was with them. That conviction sustained them through persecution in Europe and hardship on the American frontier. It also kept their worship simple and unpretentious. They did not need elaborate buildings or powerful leaders. They needed the Lord's presence, his Word, and one another.
Reconciliation and the Love Feast
The Brethren practice of the love feast is directly tied to Matthew 18. Before the meal, members wash one another's feet, following John 13:1-17. Jesus, knowing that his time had come, "having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end." Washing feet is a sign of that love. It is also a sign of reconciliation. If two members are at odds, the feetwashing service is an opportunity to settle the matter before sharing the bread and cup. Paul warns in 1 Corinthians 11 that eating and drinking without discerning the body brings judgment. The Brethren took that warning seriously. They did not want to come to the table with unconfessed sin against a brother or sister.
The love feast also included a simple meal and the Lord's Supper. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 11:23-26 that he received from the Lord what he delivered to the church: on the night he was betrayed, Jesus took bread, and he also took the cup after supper. The Brethren connected this meal to the church's unity and to the command to love one another. For them, the Supper was not a private devotional act but a communal covenant. It was a visible sign that the gathered church was one body, joined to Christ and to one another. This is why they often celebrated the love feast before ordination services or when reconciling members.
The Brethren also linked the love feast to service. Feetwashing is a job for a servant, yet Jesus did it for his disciples. The Brethren carried this ethic into daily life. They served neighbors, cared for the poor, and refused to participate in violence. They did not believe that reconciliation stopped at the church door. They believed that a community reconciled to God and to one another was a witness to the world that another way of living is possible. That is why they often called themselves a peculiar people, not out of pride, but because they wanted their life together to point to Christ.
How Brethren Leaders Practice Matthew 18 Today
Modern Church of the Brethren congregations still practice some form of Matthew 18, though with different emphases than the earliest Brethren. Pastors and elders are often involved in mediating disputes, and district or denominational staff may assist when a matter cannot be settled locally. The goal remains restoration. The Brethren have also recognized that Matthew 18 can be misused. In some churches, the passage has been used to silence victims of abuse or to protect powerful leaders from accountability. The Brethren have taken steps to address this, including policies for responding to allegations of abuse and misconduct. A passage meant to heal can be twisted into a tool of harm, and that is a matter for repentance.
Faithful Christians differ on how literally to apply the final step of Matthew 18. Some Brethren congregations reserve the ban for matters of serious, unrepentant sin. Others focus almost entirely on the first two steps of private conversation and mediation, treating the assembly step as a last resort rarely used. There is room for disagreement here. What the Brethren have historically agreed on is that the purpose of the process is reconciliation, not punishment, and that the gathered community must be characterized by humility, prayer, and love.
Some Brethren have also applied Matthew 18 to peacemaking in the wider world. If disputes between two Christians can be settled by direct conversation and impartial witnesses, perhaps conflicts between nations can be addressed in similar ways. The Brethren have historically opposed war and encouraged peaceful resolution of conflicts. They have also served in relief and development work around the world, seeking to heal the wounds that violence leaves behind. This is not a political program but a conviction that the way of Christ applies to all of life. Where two or three are gathered in his name, he is present, and his presence makes a difference.
Biblical fidelity check
What Matthew 18:15-20 does not establish is a system of anonymous accusations or unaccountable leadership. The passage assumes face-to-face conversation, confirmed by witnesses, and a gathered community seeking the Lord. It does not authorize leaders to punish members for personal disagreements or to enforce conformity on matters where Scripture is silent. It also does not make the assembly infallible. Jesus' promise of his presence is given to those who gather in his name, not to those who merely use his name to justify their own decisions. The Brethren have sometimes failed here, and so has every tradition.
A common misreading is that Matthew 18 is primarily about expulsion. Some read the final step as permission to cut off anyone who disagrees and then claim Jesus' blessing on the decision. But the passage says, if your brother listens, you have gained back your brother. The aim is gain, not loss. The final step of treating someone as a Gentile or tax collector is not a license for contempt. Jesus treated Gentiles and tax collectors with compassion and called them to repentance. Another misreading is that the passage applies only to personal offenses and has nothing to do with the church's common life. But Jesus gives the teaching to disciples gathered as a community. He is describing how his people should live together as they follow him.
Other passages that speak to Matthew 18:15-20
Several other passages help us understand why the Brethren read Matthew 18 the way they do. The early church in Acts 2:41-47 devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching, to fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and to prayers. They shared their possessions and met daily with gladness, and the Lord added to their number. That picture of a gathered, sharing community shaped the Brethren vision. Paul's appeal in 1 Corinthians 1:10 for the church to be united in the same mind and judgment underlies the Brethren concern for unity. The call in 1 Corinthians 1:9 into fellowship with God's Son provides the basis for that unity. And 1 Corinthians 10 warns the church not to presume on its standing while living in division. See What Does 1 Corinthians 1:10 Mean? Context, Theology, and Application, What Does 1 Corinthians 1:9 Mean? Context, Theology, and Application, 1 Corinthians 1: Called, United, and Boasting in the Lord, and 1 Corinthians 10: Warnings and Freedom for more on these themes.
Frequently asked questions
Do I have to go to my brother privately first, or can I tell the church immediately?
Jesus commands the private step first. In Matthew 18:15 he says, "If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone." The reason is mercy. A private conversation gives the offender a chance to repent without public shame. If the matter is dangerous or involves abuse, other steps may be necessary for safety, and church leaders should be involved. But in ordinary disputes, the private step is the place to begin. Going immediately to others is a form of gossip that damages the very relationship you hope to restore.
What does it mean to treat someone as a Gentile or tax collector?
It means to relate to the person as someone outside the fellowship of disciples, at least for now. But Jesus himself ate with tax collectors and showed them mercy. So treating someone in this way is not permission to hate or humiliate them. The Brethren have historically understood this step as a last resort, carried out with sorrow and hope. The goal remains that the person might one day be restored. If the church treats someone as an outsider permanently, without any desire for reconciliation, it has misunderstood the passage.
How do the Brethren practice this passage today?
Many Church of the Brethren congregations still follow some form of Matthew 18, often with the help of trained mediators or district leaders. The emphasis varies. Some focus on private conversation and mediation. Others reserve the formal assembly step for serious unrepentant sin. Brethren also connect reconciliation to the love feast. They believe that coming to the Lord's table without settling disputes against a brother or sister is a serious matter. So the practice is not merely administrative. It is part of the church's worship and witness.
