How can spouses resolve conflict without contempt? A Biblical Guide
Short answer: Colossians 3:12-14 calls believers to put on a heart of compassion, kindness, lowliness, humility, and perseverance. It emphasizes forgiveness as Christ forgave us and instructs that love is the bond of perfection. This passage reminds Christians that their identity in Christ shapes how they treat others.
The Call to Put On New Qualities
Colossians 3:12-14 begins with a powerful command for believers: 'Put on therefore, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, a heart of compassion, kindness, lowliness, humility, and perseverance.' This is not merely an ideal to strive toward but a reality that should define the lives of those who have been transformed by Christ. The passage assumes that the readers are already in a new relationship with God through Jesus. They are no longer defined by their old nature or earthly desires but by their identity as God's chosen ones, 'holy and beloved.' This sets the stage for them to live differently now.
The specific qualities listed, compassion, kindness, lowliness, humility, and perseverance, are not abstract virtues; they form a new way of living. These are not traits that believers earn but gifts that come from being in Christ. The passage is rooted in the previous verses where Paul reminds readers that their old lives have died with Christ (Colossians 3:3) and that now their lives are hidden with Him in God. This context shows that these qualities arise naturally as a result of new life in Christ, not through human effort alone.
The language used here is strikingly personal. Paul addresses the readers directly, calling them 'God's chosen ones,' which speaks to their identity and purpose. He does not merely suggest they try to be kinder or more humble; instead, he commands that these qualities become part of who they are as people in Christ. This is a call to transformation rather than mere behavior modification. The passage assumes that the readers have already been united with Christ through faith (Colossians 2:13), which makes this new way of life not only possible but necessary.
By emphasizing these qualities, Paul is shaping a vision for Christian living that goes beyond moral conduct to include a deep sense of identity in God. This passage is about more than what believers do; it's about who they are because of Christ. The heart of compassion and the humility described here are not just actions but attitudes that flow from being part of God's family, 'holy and beloved.'
Forgiveness as a Reflection of Christ
Colossians 3:13 continues the theme of transformation by emphasizing forgiveness. It says, 'bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do.' This verse is crucial because it shows that the new life in Christ includes not only personal virtue but also relational grace. Forgiveness is not just an occasional act of mercy but a regular part of Christian living.
The comparison to how 'Christ forgave you' is central here. The forgiveness believers are called to practice must mirror the forgiveness they have received from God through Jesus Christ. This means that their forgiveness should be complete, unconditional, and rooted in grace rather than justice alone. It also implies that forgiveness in this passage is not merely about overlooking wrongs but actively choosing to release others from the burden of past offenses.
The context of these verses shows a clear contrast between the old self (Colossians 3:8-9) and the new self (Colossians 3:10). Where the old self was characterized by anger, malice, and lying, the new self is marked by forgiveness and reconciliation. This shift in character is not about ignoring wrongdoing but about responding to it with love and grace as Christ did.
The call to 'forgive each other' in this passage must be understood within a broader context of spiritual transformation. It's not just an ethical standard to meet but a reflection of the new life that believers have in Christ. This forgiveness is not optional; it is part of what it means to be a follower of Jesus who forgave us completely and without reservation.
Love as the Bond That Unites
Colossians 3:14 states, "Above all these things, walk in love, which is the bond of perfection." This verse caps off the list of virtues from verses 12-13 by highlighting that love is not just one of many good traits but the unifying force that holds everything together. Love is described as 'the bond of perfection,' which suggests that it is essential for living a life fully aligned with God's will.
The term 'bond' here implies something that connects and holds things together, much like a chain or a thread. In this context, love is the force that unites all the other virtues, compassion, kindness, humility, and forgiveness, into one coherent way of living. Without love, these qualities risk becoming mere religious duties rather than genuine expressions of God's character.
Paul does not present love as something separate from the previous commands; instead, he positions it as the foundation upon which all other virtues are built. This is significant because it shows that love is not an afterthought or a final addition to Christian living but the core principle that makes everything else meaningful and effective. It's what gives purpose and direction to all other actions.
The emphasis on 'perfection' in this verse should be understood carefully. The Greek word used here (τέλειος, telesios) means complete or mature rather than sinless. This suggests that love is the standard by which a believer's life can reach its full potential and reflect God's character completely. It's not about achieving perfection through human effort but living in such a way that love becomes the defining mark of one's identity as a follower of Christ.
The Transformation of Identity
Colossians 3:12 begins with 'Put on therefore, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved.' This language highlights the transformation that has taken place in those who have placed their faith in Christ. The use of 'put on' is significant because it echoes earlier parts of Colossians where Paul speaks about putting off the old self (Colossians 3:9). This metaphor of clothing is used to describe how believers are now clothed with a new identity, not as individuals who have earned this status but as those chosen by God.
The phrase 'God's chosen ones' carries deep theological weight. In ancient Jewish context, being 'chosen' was often associated with a special relationship with God and specific responsibilities or blessings. Here, Paul is redefining what it means to be 'chosen.' It's not about a select group of people but all who are united in Christ through faith (Colossians 3:11). This includes Jews, Gentiles, slaves, and free people, everyone is part of God's new family.
The description 'holy and beloved' adds to this identity. The term 'holy' suggests that these believers are set apart for a special purpose, much like the priests in ancient Israel were considered holy (Leviticus 21:8). However, here it is not about ritual purity but moral and spiritual transformation through Christ. Being 'beloved' speaks to God's deep affection and love for His people, which is central to Christian identity.
This new identity as 'chosen ones, holy and beloved' has practical implications. It means that believers are called to live in a way that reflects this status. Their lives should not be defined by the world's standards but by their relationship with God through Christ. This transformation of identity is not just an internal change; it affects how they relate to others and how they understand their place in God's plan.
The Call to Live in Unity
Colossians 3:11 states, 'where there can't be Greek and Jew, circumcision and uncircumcision, barbarian, Scythian, bondservant, or free person; but Christ is all, and in all.' This verse emphasizes the unity that should characterize the Christian community. In contrast to the divisions of the ancient world based on ethnicity, social status, or religious practices, believers are now united in Christ.
The list of categories, Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian and Scythian, bondservant and free person, was used by Paul to highlight the diversity that once marked human society. These were not just cultural differences but often sources of conflict or exclusion in the ancient world. However, in Christ, these distinctions are no longer barriers because all believers share a common identity as part of God's family.
The declaration that 'Christ is all, and in all' points to Jesus being the central reality for every believer. This does not mean that differences disappear completely but that they do not define or separate people from one another. Instead, their unity is found in Christ, who transcends all human divisions and brings together what was once divided.
This passage challenges believers to see beyond external differences and recognize the common ground they share through faith in Jesus. It calls for a radical rethinking of how communities function, where identity is not based on race or status but on shared belief in Christ. This unity in Christ is not just an ideal; it's part of God's plan for His people as revealed in Colossians 2:13-15, where He reconciles all things through Jesus.
The Practical Implications of Love and Forgiveness
Colossians 3:13 and 14 emphasize that love is the foundation upon which all Christian virtues rest. These verses are not just about emotional feelings but about a way of living that reflects God's character in action. The call to 'bear with one another' and 'forgive each other' must be understood within this context, as it points to how believers should relate to others despite differences or conflicts.
The concept of 'bearing with' implies patience, tolerance, and endurance in the face of difficulties. This is not passive acceptance but active engagement that seeks reconciliation rather than retaliation. It reflects the grace of God who bore our sins on the cross (Colossians 2:14) and calls His people to extend similar mercy to others.
Forgiveness here is not just about forgetting or overlooking wrongs; it's a deliberate choice to release others from the burden of their offenses, much like Christ forgave us. This kind of forgiveness requires humility and trust in God's power to heal broken relationships. It also means that believers must be willing to forgive even when they feel betrayed or hurt.
The emphasis on love as 'the bond of perfection' (Colossians 3:14) shows that these virtues are not isolated commands but interconnected aspects of a life lived in Christ. Love is the unifying force that holds all other virtues together and ensures that they do not become hollow or self-serving. In this way, the practical implications of love and forgiveness shape how believers interact with others and reflect God's character to the world.
For more on this passage, see What Does Colossians 3.
For more on this passage, see What Does Colossians 3.
For more on this passage, see Colossians 2 Bible Study.
For more on this passage, see Colossians 4 Bible Study.
Biblical fidelity check
Colossians 3:12-14 must be read carefully because it presents a clear vision for Christian living that goes beyond moral behavior. One interpretive risk is misunderstanding these verses as mere ethical standards rather than reflections of the new identity in Christ. The passage does not present love or forgiveness as optional traits but as essential parts of what it means to live in Christ's resurrection power (Colossians 3:1). Another challenge lies in recognizing that this transformation is not a human achievement but a result of being united with Christ through faith, as emphasized in Colossians 2:13. What stays central is the identity of believers as 'God's chosen ones' and the practical outworking of that identity in daily life.
Frequently asked questions
What Does Colossians 3 Mean in Context?
Colossians 3:12-14 is part of a broader call to live as new creations in Christ. It follows the instruction to put off old ways (Colossians 3:8) and puts on virtues like compassion, kindness, humility, and love. This passage emphasizes that believers are now God's chosen people, holy and beloved, and should reflect this identity through their actions.
What Does Colossians 3 Say About Forgiveness?
Colossians 3:13 commands believers to forgive others as Christ forgave them. This is not just about overlooking wrongs but actively choosing grace and reconciliation, mirroring the forgiveness believers have received from God through Jesus Christ.
How Does Colossians 2 Relate to These Verses?
Colossians 2:13-15 sets the foundation for these verses by explaining that believers are reconciled with God through Christ's death and resurrection. This context makes it clear that the virtues in Colossians 3:12-14 arise from being united with Christ, not from human effort alone.
