What should Christians discuss before getting engaged? A Biblical Guide
Short answer: Colossians 3:12-14 urges believers to live as God's chosen ones by wearing compassion, kindness, humility, and perseverance. This passage also emphasizes forgiveness and walking in love. It follows previous instructions about putting off old behaviors and putting on the new self, showing how Christian identity shapes daily living.
The Call to Wear Compassion
Colossians 3:12 begins with a strong command: 'Put on therefore, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, a heart of compassion.' This is not a suggestion but an urgent directive. The word 'put on' echoes earlier instructions in the same chapter about putting off old behaviors like anger or deceit (Colossians 3:8). Here, the focus shifts to adopting new attitudes that reflect God's character. Compassion is not just one virtue among many; it's foundational because it shapes how believers relate to others and to God.
The phrase 'as God's chosen ones' reminds readers of their identity in Christ. This identity is both a privilege and a responsibility, requiring the wearing of virtues that mirror divine love. The context before this passage emphasizes the believer's new life with Christ (Colossians 3:1-4), so these virtues are not just moral ideals but expressions of what it means to be united with Him. Compassion becomes an outward sign of the inward transformation made possible through faith in Jesus.
The call to wear compassion is specific and personal. It's not about vague goodness, but a particular kind of care that reflects God's own character. This sets the tone for all that follows in Colossians 3:12-14, showing how the believer's identity must shape their behavior. The use of 'heart' suggests this is more than external actions, it's an internal change affecting the core of who a person is.
This passage assumes that readers have already been transformed by Christ's resurrection (Colossians 3:1-4). Therefore, the instruction to wear compassion flows naturally from their new identity. It connects back to earlier teachings about putting off old ways and putting on the new self in Christ. Compassion becomes a practical outflow of this spiritual renewal.
Kindness as a Reflection of God's Character
Following 'compassion,' Colossians 3:12 mentions kindness, another essential virtue for believers in Christ. The term used here suggests more than mere politeness; it reflects the deep care and generosity that God himself shows to his people. This is not a generic quality but one that aligns with the divine character emphasized throughout Scripture. Kindness becomes an expression of how God treats His children, which should naturally extend from believers to others.
The context before Colossians 3:12-14 includes teachings on putting off old behaviors like anger and malice (Colossians 3:8). This contrast highlights the transformation that comes through faith in Christ. Kindness is not a counterbalance but an extension of this new identity. It's not just about being nicer to others; it's about living out the reality of having been forgiven by God, who is full of kindness.
The inclusion of 'kindness' here may seem simple, but its placement in this passage reveals its importance. It follows compassion and precedes humility, forming a sequence that builds on the believer's new life in Christ. Kindness becomes a practical expression of how believers are to treat one another, reflecting the divine love they now share through faith. This is not an idealistic call but a real-life challenge grounded in God's character.
The word 'kindness' carries deep theological weight because it reflects the heart of God's relationship with His people. As believers put on kindness, they are embodying the same grace that has been shown to them through Christ. This virtue is not just a personal choice but an essential part of living out one's identity as someone who has been chosen by God and made holy.
Humility in Christian Living
Colossians 3:12 mentions 'lowliness' or humility, which is a crucial aspect of the believer's new identity. This term carries the weight of recognizing one's place before God and others without pride or arrogance. In a culture that often values strength and dominance, this call to humility challenges believers to live in a way that reflects Christ's example (Philippians 2:5-8). It is not about self-deprecation but about acknowledging that all true worth comes from God.
The context of Colossians 3:12-14 includes instructions on how believers should relate to one another. Humility becomes a key virtue in this relational framework because it allows for genuine community and mutual respect. It is not simply about being polite or avoiding conflict but about valuing others above oneself, which reflects the heart of God's love for His people.
In many parts of the New Testament, humility is presented as essential to Christian living (Ephesians 4:2). Here in Colossians 3:12-14, it is part of a list that includes compassion and kindness. This sequence suggests a progression in how believers are to live out their faith, starting with mercy, moving to generosity, then reflecting the humility that characterizes Christ's own life.
The call to wear humility carries practical implications for daily living. It means being willing to listen rather than dominate conversations, serving others without seeking recognition, and recognizing that every believer is equal in value before God. This aligns with earlier teachings about unity in Christ (Colossians 3:11), showing how the virtues mentioned here are all interconnected.
Perseverance as a Christian Virtue
The virtue of 'perseverance' is included among those that believers should wear in Colossians 3:12. This word speaks to the ability to endure hardship and continue moving forward despite difficulties. It's not just about staying strong, but maintaining a steady course even when it's hard or inconvenient. Perseverance reflects the endurance shown by Christ himself (Hebrews 12:1-2) and is essential for believers who face trials in their daily lives.
The context of Colossians 3:12-14 includes teachings about living a new life in Christ, which necessarily involves enduring hardships. Perseverance becomes part of this transformation because it reflects the strength that comes from being united with Jesus. It is not just a personal virtue but an outward expression of the believer's identity as someone who has been raised with Christ (Colossians 3:1-4).
The inclusion of perseverance in this list shows its importance for Christian living. In a world filled with challenges and distractions, believers need to be reminded that their hope is not in temporary things but in the eternal promises of God. This virtue helps them remain focused on what truly matters, living in accordance with Christ's example.
The call to persevere is not an abstract ideal but a practical necessity for those following Jesus. It requires daily choices to stay committed even when it's difficult, which reflects the heart of Christian discipleship (Matthew 10:24-39). This virtue aligns with other teachings in Colossians about living in unity and love (Colossians 3:14), showing how these qualities support one another.
Forgiveness as a Reflection of Christ's Love
Colossians 3:13 speaks directly to the practice of forgiveness, emphasizing its importance in Christian living. The instruction is clear: 'bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do.' This call to forgive reflects not only God's character but His command for believers to live in harmony with one another.
The context of Colossians 3:12-14 includes teachings about putting on new virtues and living out the identity of being chosen by God. Forgiveness is a key part of this transformation because it allows believers to reflect Christ's example (Colossians 3:1). It is not an optional virtue but one that flows naturally from the grace received through faith in Jesus.
The phrase 'even as Christ forgave you' reminds readers that their ability to forgive comes directly from God's own forgiveness. This means that believers are not called to some impossible standard, but rather to live out what they have already been given by grace. Forgiveness becomes a practical expression of the believer's new identity in Christ.
The call to forgive others is deeply connected with other teachings in Colossians 3:12-14 about living as God's chosen ones and walking in love (Colossians 3:14). It emphasizes that forgiveness is not just a moral duty but an essential part of the Christian life. This passage challenges believers to let go of grudges and live with a heart open to reconciliation, mirroring Christ's own example.
Love as the Ultimate Command
Colossians 3:14 concludes this section by stating that 'above all these things, walk in love, which is the bond of perfection.' This verse places love at the center of the Christian life. It's not just one virtue among many but the foundation upon which all others are built. Love becomes the ultimate expression of what it means to live as God's chosen ones (Colossians 3:12) and reflects the heart of Christ's teaching.
The context before this verse includes teachings on virtues like compassion, kindness, humility, and perseverance. These are all important, but love is presented as the unifying force that holds them together. This aligns with other New Testament teachings where love is described as the highest form of Christian living (1 Corinthians 13:1-8). It's not just an emotional feeling but a deliberate choice to act in harmony with God's will.
The phrase 'bond of perfection' suggests that love is essential for achieving spiritual maturity. This does not mean perfection in a human sense, but the fullness of life found in Christ (Colossians 3:1-4). Love becomes the unifying principle that allows believers to live together in unity despite their differences. It's not about idealistic harmony but real, practical love that reflects God's grace.
The call to walk in love is a direct challenge for believers to let this virtue shape all aspects of their lives. This includes how they treat others, resolve conflicts, and approach daily challenges. Love becomes the foundation upon which all other virtues are built, showing that Christian living cannot be reduced to mere rules or moral codes.
For more on this passage, see What Does Colossians 3.
For more on this passage, see What Does Colossians 3.
For more on this passage, see Colossians 2 Bible Study.
For more on this passage, see Colossians 4 Bible Study.
Biblical fidelity check
Colossians 3:12-14 must be read carefully because it presents a list of virtues that can easily be misinterpreted as legalistic requirements rather than expressions of God's grace. Some may treat these virtues as tasks to complete, but the passage actually calls for an identity transformation rooted in faith in Christ. The key is understanding that love (Colossians 3:14) is not an addition to the list but the unifying force behind all the virtues mentioned. This means that compassion, kindness, humility, and perseverance are all practical outflows of a life lived with God's forgiveness at its core. It also reveals that these virtues are part of a larger transformation in which believers are being renewed (Colossians 3:10) to reflect Christ's image. While the passage does not promise guaranteed success or emotional relief, it clearly teaches that love is the foundation upon which all Christian living rests.
Frequently asked questions
What Does Colossians 3:12 Mean in Context?
Colossians 3:12 calls believers to live as God's chosen ones by wearing virtues like compassion, kindness, and humility. This follows teachings about putting off old behaviors (Colossians 3:8) and reflects a new identity given through faith in Christ. It is not just a moral list but an expression of how believers are to reflect the character of God in daily living.
What Does Colossians 3:13 Mean in Context?
Colossians 3:13 emphasizes forgiveness as central to Christian living. It calls believers to forgive others just as Christ forgave them, which reflects the grace received through faith in Jesus (Colossians 3:1). This is not about ignoring wrongs but about responding with mercy and reconciliation, following God's example.
What Is the Main Teaching of Colossians Chapter 2?
Colossians chapter 2 focuses on spiritual freedom from false teachings. It teaches that believers are complete in Christ (Colossians 2:10) and should not be swayed by ascetic practices or philosophical systems (Colossians 2:8). This sets the stage for the virtues listed in Colossians 3:12-14, showing how living in Christ transforms daily life.
