Short answer: In Luke 23:34 Jesus asks the Father to forgive the people putting him to death, and he grounds the request in what they do not know rather than in any claim that they are innocent. To pray for a narcissist in that spirit is to speak to the Father about the person, ask for mercy instead of revenge, and hand the reckoning of wrongs to God. Jesus does not minimize the harm done to him, so this prayer does not require calling the person safe or pretending nothing happened. Nor does it promise that the person will change.
A prayer spoken at the place of the skull
Luke sets this prayer in a public execution, not a quiet room. Two criminals are led out with Jesus, and all three are crucified at the place called The Skull, one on the right and one on the left. The scene is loud with scorn: rulers scoff that he saved others and should save himself, soldiers mock him and offer vinegar, and his garments are divided by lot. Luke places the prayer between the crucifixion itself and the mockery that follows, so it lands in the middle of the provocation, not after it has passed.
The literary shape is simple and striking: a single spoken prayer framed by action. Jesus addresses the Father, asks forgiveness for those doing this, and then the soldiers go on casting lots for his clothing. This is not a teaching discourse or a parable about enemies. It is a recorded prayer at the moment of greatest insult, and the contrast carries the point. Every other voice in the scene demands self rescue, while Jesus asks mercy for the people causing his pain. Luke's Gospel has already recorded his teaching about loving enemies, and here he practices it under torture.
Luke does not tell us whether the crowd or the soldiers received that forgiveness at that moment. He reports only that Jesus asked for it. That restraint matters for anyone praying through deep harm. The prayer is real and specific, yet it is not a promise that the offender will change or that the situation is safe. Praying for someone who has hurt you is not the same as trusting them or remaining where you are unsafe. The passage shows Jesus interceding in agony; it does not turn that intercession into a command to stay in harm's way.
Jesus prays to the Father in the middle of cruelty
The first thing to notice in Luke 23:34 is the direction of the sentence. Jesus does not answer the rulers or the soldiers. He speaks to the Father. Luke has just described the place of the Skull, the cross, the two criminals on either side, and the crowd standing to watch. In that setting the prayer goes upward before it goes outward. For someone wounded by a narcissist, this ordering matters. The first move is not a reply, a defense, or a case built to win an argument. It is to bring the matter honestly to God, who sees the whole scene and is not fooled by appearances.
The request itself is “forgive,” and the word carries the idea of canceling a debt. Jesus is not pretending nothing happened. Luke has already told us the garments were divided and lots cast, and the next verses record mocking and vinegar. The wrong is concrete and public. To ask forgiveness is to hand the account to God rather than to insist on collecting it yourself. That is different from calling evil good, and it is different from pretending the harm was small. It means asking God to deal with the debt in his way, which is exactly what Jesus does here while the cruelty is still happening.
The reason Jesus gives is that they do not know what they are doing. That phrase describes real blindness, but it does not erase the guilt of the deed, since Jesus still asks for forgiveness. Some offenses are committed in ignorance, and some are cloaked in self-justification that feels like ignorance to the one doing it. Praying this way for a narcissist is not a command to trust them, return to them, or stay in danger. It is a way to speak to the Father about a real wrong without handing the offender authority over your soul.
Jesus prays for the ones killing him
Luke sets this prayer in a narrow space: the crucifixion has just happened, and the mockery has not yet begun. Two criminals are led out with Jesus and hung on his right and left, so that he is counted among the guilty (23:32–33). Then, before anyone taunts him, he speaks to his Father: “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34. The prayer is not a general sentiment about human frailty. It is asked for the specific people driving the nails and dividing his clothes. Notice where Jesus directs it. He does not argue with the crowd or defend himself. He takes the matter to the Father.
The next verses sharpen the contrast. The rulers scoff that he saved others and should now save himself if he is God's chosen one, and the soldiers join in, offering him vinegar (23:35–36). Every voice around the cross demands self rescue. Jesus instead asks for mercy on his enemies. This is the teaching of his earlier sermons put into practice under torture: love your enemies, do good to those who hate you. He does not call the wrong small. He names the ignorance of the ones doing it, which is not the same as saying they were innocent. He asks the Father to forgive what is genuinely being done.
That distinction matters for praying about a narcissist. The prayer is a posture, not a technique: speak to the Father about the person, ask for mercy instead of revenge, and leave the accounting of wrongs with God. Jesus does not pretend the harm is harmless, and Luke never says the crowd received the forgiveness at that moment. Only that Jesus asked. Praying this way does not require calling the person safe, does not guarantee they will change, and is never a command to remain in an unsafe situation. Forgiveness entrusts the debt to God; it does not obligate you to trust the debtor.
Where readers disagree about Jesus' prayer from the cross
Careful readers differ on how far this prayer reaches. Some take it as Jesus asking forgiveness for the specific soldiers and rulers who carried out the crucifixion in ignorance. Others hear a wider pattern, the heart of Christ toward all who oppose him. Still others hold that the prayer was answered later, in the events of Pentecost, when many in Jerusalem turned to him. Readers also differ on whether these words command his followers to pray in exactly this form or display the disposition that should shape all Christian prayer. What stays central across these readings is that Jesus intercedes for those who wrong him and entrusts judgment to the Father.
The text itself sets limits worth naming. It records a prayer, not a blanket promise that every offender will be forgiven. Nothing here says the offenders were excused or that their actions stopped being wrong. Luke keeps the mockery and the cruelty in view on either side of the prayer. So the passage gives no ground for telling a wounded person that God has already settled the account with their abuser, or that the harm did not matter. Jesus asks the Father to forgive; he does not declare the guilty innocent, and he does not ask his people to pretend the wrong was small.
One thing must be said plainly. Praying for an offender is not a command to trust them, return to them, or remain unsafe. Jesus prayed while being crucified, not while choosing to stay in harm's way, and Scripture never asks anyone to keep placing themselves under abuse. Praying for someone and keeping wise distance can belong together. The cross shows God's grace toward sinners and his seriousness about evil at the same time. What remains central is that Jesus entrusts judgment to the Father and intercedes for those who wrong him, and his people may do the same from a safe place.
The prayer of the innocent one among the guilty
Luke places Jesus between two criminals, crucified at the place called The Skull. The crowd stands watching; the rulers scoff that he saved others and should save himself; the soldiers mock him and offer vinegar. In the middle of that, Jesus prays for the people doing this to him. He does not wait for remorse or an apology. He asks his Father to forgive, and he gives a reason: they do not know what they are doing. The innocent one dies among the guilty, and his first word from the cross is a plea for mercy on the ones who put him there.
This prayer shows the heart of the gospel before the gospel is explained. Jesus does not merely teach love for enemies; he enacts it while his own life is being taken. The New Testament later ties his death to the forgiveness of sins for everyone who turns to him, and this prayer is that forgiveness already speaking aloud. Notice who asks: not the guilty begging for themselves, but the sinless one interceding for others. He asks for mercy he himself will pay for. That is the shape of the gospel, and it invites us to receive that mercy before we try to extend it.
Praying for someone who has hurt you does not mean trusting them, staying unsafe, or pretending the harm was small. Jesus asks forgiveness for his executioners while they are still executing him; he does not hand them the nails. His prayer is not a command to remain in danger. It is the mercy of Christ reaching us first, and only then moving through us. You can ask God to deal mercifully with an offender while keeping honest boundaries. The one who prayed this prayer is the one whose mercy you receive, and he is able to hold both your safety and your enemy's soul.
What praying for someone who has hurt you looks like
Start with honesty, because Jesus was honest. He did not pray a vague prayer over the crowd at the Skull; Luke records him naming what was happening: they were putting him to death, and he asked the Father to forgive them. In Luke 23:34 he says, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” So begin by telling God plainly what the person has done. Name the lie, the cruelty, the manipulation, without softening it. Then ask the Father to forgive them and to do them good. That prayer is not a feeling you work up. It is an act of obedience grounded in grace you have already received.
Praying for someone is not the same as trusting them with access. Jesus asked mercy for the men who killed him while he hung there with his hands bound. You can ask God to forgive a person and also ask him for your own protection and for wise limits. Ask him for the strength to keep the boundary you have set. Pray briefly and repeatedly rather than waiting until you feel forgiving. Watch the desire to see them punished, and hand that desire to God instead of acting on it. Keep the prayer short enough to pray on an ordinary afternoon.
Do not treat this prayer as a guarantee that the person will change, apologize, or become safe. Luke does not tell us what happened to the rulers who scoffed or the soldiers who mocked. Jesus prayed, and the day still ended at a tomb. Where harm is ongoing, seek help from wise believers and from appropriate professionals. Praying for an offender is never a command to stay unsafe or to hand back trust that was broken. Grace comes first: God has been patient with you, and that patience frees you to pray without pretending the wound is small.
Biblical fidelity check
In Luke 23:34 Jesus prays from the cross, and the verse is easy to misuse. The prayer comes in the middle of concrete cruelty: crucifixion, soldiers dividing his garments and casting lots, rulers scoffing, mockery and vinegar. Read as a command, it becomes a technique for managing difficult people. Read as a promise, it guarantees the offender's change. Careful readers also differ on its reach: some hear Jesus asking forgiveness for the soldiers and rulers acting in ignorance, others see a pattern for all who oppose him, and some hold it was answered later, at Pentecost.
What stays central is that Jesus intercedes for those who wrong him and entrusts judgment to the Father. The prayer is addressed to the Father, so the first move is vertical: he takes the matter to God rather than answering his abusers directly. The request is forgive, a plea to cancel a debt, not a claim that no debt exists. The reason, that they do not know what they are doing, describes real blindness while the wrong remains real. The text records a prayer, not a promise that every offender will be forgiven or excused.
Other passages that speak to Luke 23:34
The prayer at the cross sits inside a larger scene of mockery and divided garments, and it is worth reading slowly alongside other passages about forgiveness, enemies and entrusting wrongs to God. See Luke 1: Births Foretold and Songs of Praise for the wider crucifixion narrative, Luke 11: Prayer, Light, and Woes for teaching on loving enemies, Luke 12: Fear, Treasure, and Readiness for the call to forgive as we have been forgiven, and Luke 13: Repentance, Healing, and the Narrow Door for leaving vengeance with God.
Frequently asked questions
Does Jesus praying for the people who hurt him mean I have to stay in a relationship with someone who treats me like a narcissist?
No. Luke 23:34 shows Jesus asking the Father to forgive his executioners while he hangs on the cross, which is a prayer for enemies, not a command to remain under someone's control. The verse describes Jesus' own cry to God; it does not tell you to keep yourself in harm's way. Forgiving someone and praying for them can happen at a distance, and staying safe is not disobedience to this text.
Can I pray for someone who hurt me badly without acting like it never happened?
Yes. Jesus prays forgiveness at the very place where the harm is being done, with the wounds still open and the mockers still speaking, so honest prayer and real injury can stand together. He names the wrong plainly, then asks the Father to forgive, leaving justice with God rather than calling the pain small. You can tell God the truth about what happened and still ask him to deal mercifully with the person who did it.
What did Jesus mean when he said they do not know what they are doing?
Jesus means that those crucifying him are acting in real ignorance of who he is and what their deed accomplishes, so he asks the Father to forgive rather than to judge them. Luke shows this ignorance at work: the rulers mock him as possibly God's chosen one while the soldiers offer him vinegar, neither realizing they are condemning the Christ. Their guilt is not erased, since they are still doing the deed, but Jesus pleads for mercy on the basis of their blindness.
